Day One:


Afternoon: 4

The reality of things are setting in. The further the wishes to wake up get, the more REAL this all becomes.
Im trying to fight this horrible knowing feeling that Ive lost her. I was stupid, and selfish, and Ive lost her. To think otherwise just feels optimistically dumb.
Why would he ever let me come back... even If she never stopped loving me, why would he even ever let her know I tried...
I cant believe Ive lost her... I cant allow myself to accept that...
cant
cant

 I thought I felt dead this morning...