Day Two: 

Morning: 2 


Showers have been a gift, soothing... and giving me some clarity. I know that I cannot truly grow until I give her to God fully, but I am puzzled as to how to do this when I wake up to the pounding grief of just how much I miss her. Also, the realization has hit me, that even if one day I can see her again, if Im ever allowed to come back. In order for that to happen I will have to not only have given her to God, But we will be different people. the realization that things will never be the same again. perhaps the "same" is not how things should be. Maybe that is the whole point... But still the thought wrenches at my heart... they are such fond memories.

Wonderful memories should never be so haunting. So I see that in order to ever see her again, I need to give my feelings for her... all of them to God... and allow him to shape me into the man HE wants me to be. and simply trust that whatever is best for both of us will happen. Regardless of what we think about it.

An easy enough theory... but its not stopping how much I miss the sounds she makes while falling over, the grin that draws on her face when shes accomplished something.. the way she bursts into giggles whenever excited, and just cant help but do a little dancing...
I have to stop regretting, If im ever going to move forward... But how do you stop regretting...
I was gonna go on but I think thats it...

How do you stop regretting
HOW do you stop regretting...

stop...


                                ...stop...