Day Three: 

Noon: 

After a long walk, I see something basic. Something simple. Its time to stop whining. Stop whining and start moving forward. Yes, I messed up. Big. I should have taken care of you. I should have protected you. I should have had your back, as your friend before anything else. so in turn I DEFINITELY should have protected you, from me. If Id been listening I would have seen that. If I'd been loving you the way you deserve to be loved I would have seen that. But I didn't.
I see that now.

Perhaps one day, if it is so in the plan, I will get the chance to love you the right way. To respect you as the beautiful awesome charismatic energetic brilliant magical woman you are. I will not force myself to stop loving you. In reality I feel that I love you more fully and completely then I ever have. But I realize that, that is out of my hands. in truth it always was wasn't it...? After all isn't that the beauty of love? It comes from ones choice to love, you chose to love me. While I chose to be impatient and by proxy disgusting with you.
One day, maybe I will have the chance to love you the right way. Who knows...

Regardless to all this is a nice feeling that what I miss during all these passing hours. Is my friend. My sparkling companion, tried and true, always there for me, never judging me for who I am, constant challenging me to grow, always shining.
In time perhaps I can have her back again.
My best friend

I miss you.