Day One:


Night.

Layed down while rendering. The tears came. With the reality of what has happened, they came.
Fell asleep in them.
Sleep.

The only brief release from the endless thundering recycling of regret in my mind.
tried to go back to sleep, heart woke up and kept me awake with deep slow thumping, filled with the emptiness again.

Cant sleep.

I wish I hadn't woken up.

I wish I could never wake up.